Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
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I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
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theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
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