Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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