found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
