hell yes lets make some ravioli
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
