Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
