I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
