Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize