i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
