This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
