butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
