I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
