Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
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she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
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