There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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