I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
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