just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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