using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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