She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
