dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
your like the ambassador to my penis.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize