omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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