Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
