I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Randomize
