Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
