when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
You're so nebulous sometimes
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Randomize
