he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize