They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
