My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize