i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
