his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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