Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
He is an equal opportunity slut.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
