Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Randomize