i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
