You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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