She said her name was "party"
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
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finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
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I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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