hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
