Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
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Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
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It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize