Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
