Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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