2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Randomize
