i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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