in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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