He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Randomize