bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
