I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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