Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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