can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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