is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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