Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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