she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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