PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
