What a fucking waste of an outfit
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
You're earring is so big in my mouth
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
