Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
and you fell through a lawn chair
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize