Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
