I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize