I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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