Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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