Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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