So drunk, too bad you don't want this
North Korea, Best Korea!
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
